My sister-in-law died this week. I miss her, but for her sake, I'm glad it's over. Life had nothing left to offer her but suffering. She was a deeply religious person, even to her own detriment. Faith in skydaddy to heal her caused her to walk around for years with cancer festering in her, convinced that skydaddy had removed it. I could go on forever about that, but it only makes me mad and at this point, anger serves no useful purpose.
I went to visit her one day recently while she was in the hospital. Her bible was open on her bedside tray, and she had it arranged in a way that anyone who came into the room had to see it. I make note of this because she had it open to the only passage in the whole book that I find worthwhile. I knew what she was trying to tell everyone, and for once I didn't want to roll my eyes and thing "there she goes with that 'the bible says' business again." She had it open to Ecclesiastes 3. I do want to qualify my position that it's probably the only useful passage in the whole book - only the first eight verses are really of any benefit. The rest is nattering about why we need skydaddy in our lives. Here it is for anyone who hasn't read it.
Ecclesiastes 3
1To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
I guess I have always found this particular passage worthwhile because it holds true. All of these things have their proper time and place. I don't give skydaddy any credit at all for it, however. It's just the natural order of things. When a loved one has his/her time to die, we have our time to weep. In that time to weep, we tend to have a time to embrace and love our living loved ones. We get through that and have our time to laugh and dance again, and somewhere inside all of us, a little part of the one we lost lives on through us - not through some hope of Disney in the Clouds, but through that part of us that the dearly departed touched.
Tracey...so sorry about your loss, albeit as you say it was for the best.
ReplyDeleteI would like to think that in her final days her selection of that verse, which speaks so much to reality and the natural order of things, indicated she had come to terms with reality. Probably not. But it would have been so easy for her to have selected some particulalry religious/ Jesus/ salvation oriented verse it makes one wonder.
Nicely written.
Thanks. I think that in this particular instance, there was definitely a method to the madness and you hit it right on the head.
ReplyDeleteyou're sister in law was probably disgusted with your eulogy she's obviously a religious woman and you're disrespecting her belief and religious, maybe one day that skydaddy will save your immoral soul.
ReplyDeleteSorry but she knew her sister in law much better than you.
DeleteShe was more qualified to speak that way just as you would have given a different story for your family member.
Coming to this in 2015. Appreciate the candid reasoning and just maybe there was a hint of self vunerability in using 'skydaddy'. Funny that nearly everyone who isnt deeply religious will utter such idioms as "God rest there soul" or such like.
ReplyDeleteFor myself, I always considered references to 'Him' upstairs as an ecuse for anyone to say or do anything they wished.
My aunt was as non religious as you could get but found herself embroiled with the local church in her later years and gradually I moved from teasing her about her 'new found faith' to actually realising that for many, they draw on a 'strength' from a perceived entity to cope with their perceived lack of inner strength to cope with lifes emotional despairs.
Today I dont waste life by deriding anyone who 'believes'. I think its healthy to 'believe' in something. I personally believe in myself so that I can be in control of what I can or cannot do.